The last two days I have been eating. Eating and eating and eating. Not sure why. I have been eating popcorn, pizza, Lebanese, fruit and more fruit; cupcakes, chocolate and cheese. Dips and chips, bread and bagels, bacon and potatoes. My stomach is distorted and bloated beyond belief. Why would I sabotage myself in such a dramatic and erratic fashion? I have gone out of my way to eat evil, forbidden foods that are tres horrible for me. NO, I have not got on the scale. I will do so in the morning. It will by like waking up with the worst hangover ever....and I will do the walk of shame to the scale. There I will stand naked, with all but my toenail polish removed........exhale and stand in the very centre of the scale. (It is digital, which means I don't get that fantastic roulette effect of a dial scale...where is goes wayyyy up when you step on, and then it 'drops' to your true weight. Every time you weigh yourself on one of those things, it is like a game. "Whew...! I was almost 200lbs there for a second!! Look how skinny I really am!!). I always like to punctuate my weigh in with a quick once over in the bathroom mirror. I see my mother standing there staring back at me and I run for the walk-in closet. There, I find my uniform of lululemons (black) and a stretchy tee...and I once again disguise myself as a yogic-stay-at-home-mom-with-a-cleaning-lady-and-a-trainer. (None of which is true, but that is why you pay so much for your lulu's!). But I owe it to me, to us, to every other dieter out there......to do away with the illusion and walk the talk. So tomorrow I start again. Beans/meat/veggies. I don't want to run from the mirror anymore......I want to look in the mirror and feel, fantastic.
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